Freed and Healed Through Fasting—reviewed

This little book delivers a powerful and potent description of a “twin remedy.” The author, Sister Emmanuel writes, “when you fast and pray, you allow God to work many more miracles in your life and in others’ lives.”

She quotes the message given to seers at Medjugorje purportedly by Our Lady Queen of Peace, “Through fasting and prayer one can stop wars, one can suspend the laws of nature.”

Citing an example that she knew personally, she recounts how an American nurse who had lived a somewhat reckless life and had no faith was prayed and fasted for for four years by a doctor who lived what he learned at Medjugorje. One day the nurse took enough pills to take her own life and expected to die. When she woke up the next day she was baffled and spoke with the doctor who unbeknownst to her was fasting and praying for her.

She was then open to what he said to her about God. He said “Go to Medjugorje.” She did and it changed he life forever and she said “I was born in Medjugorje.”

Recipes are included for this course for healing taught at Medjugorje. Fasting on bread and water on Wednesdays and Fridays is the prescription. The messages given over the years on the subject are also recorded in this 88 page book.

As a matter of personal disclosure, I have used this twin remedy for when things were quite bleak financially for me and there was no hope out of the mess, seemingly. I received a positive response and so I review this book in gratitude.

ISOFaithfulandTrue: least likely to succeed

It seems that Spendid High wants to jump and he is letting me know that in no uncertain terms. This is a bit disconcerting as he is 18 years old and I turned 60 and have hardly jumped since I was a teenager. No matter, if Melness wants it, he seems to find a way to get it.

The night before he began conditioning on the Aqua Treadmill, I had a dream where he jumped into a ring full of jumps and then started jumping them on his own. I had another dream where he jumped into the bushes in the backyard of where I grew up. Then, he had a nose fly bother him the other day when the competitors arrived for an AQHA show that weekend. I had specifically told him that he needed to behave and that this was not to be The Mel Show.

Well, the nose fly made it necessary to exhibit his airs above the ground in hand that were closer to have an NFR bucking horse do his thing while attached by leadline to a person. Nevermind, he had to do this in front of people who just wanted to lunge their horses to get them settled. Mel decided it was boogie time.

Then he ran around like a crazed fool in the round pen where I left him to get some fly spray–herbal, of course. During that time, it was as if he had to make the impression that while they were there to show as Quarter Horses, he was a Thoroughbred and that they ought to look at him. Honestly, I think he must choreograph his moves so as to exhibit maximum dramatic impact.

It was The Mel Show and seems to be still. Recently, he decided he had to make a fuss at 6 a.m. because his neighbor was irritating him. So he kicked in a board–not a flimsy one but broke in two a substantial board. I showed up at 6 am this morning at morning feeding time so he could not have a repeat. Mission accomplished–and I think he may have an ulcer because he is usually not as testy as this unless he’s got fire in the belly.

Can’t really say where this is all going to go because, as I told him, if you want to jump you have to do walk, trot and canter and circles without theatrics consistently and we are not there now. I hesitate to say how many years it’s been to get to where we are, which is not past the first step of Col. Podhajsky’s method. Now we are aiming at the DeNemethy Method to start him over fences.

I guess it may happen because he seems to get what he wants, eventually. Last year a lady took some humorous photos of me depicting what I said was “George Morris’ Least Likely to Succeed Rider.” I had left Mel disheveled and with the pink wound dressing on his scars from other horses bite wounds and I was a mess in so many ways. I said it was proof Mel needed an upgrade in riders. This year, not much has changed on that front except I will be going to audit the clinic of the master himself. This should be great. I don’t fit his profile and my weight is not show weight. Just sitting in the audience I will probably be the very mess of a person who is indeed least likely to succeed in that rarefied world.

It will be fun to watch and I do not care if I get chewed out. That’s how I grew up. I just may not be able to stay for long, as I have to get back to feed his Royal Mellifluous Splendid Highness his supplements for his digestive tract. I am sure that Mr. Morris will not be amused. Last year I asked if they have room to stall a therapy animal who is legally a service animal during the clinic, and I unsurprisingly received no response. I do not do things or go places out of range of Mel and his pressing needs.

It is never a dull moment with Melness. Tomorrow he gets adjusted which means he will have to pull some move afterwards to insure that his favorite vet comes to see The Divo soon again. She gets him and he acts like a Drama King for her as she asks him to do his carrot stretches. He’s still a noodle and at least has one of the three goals of Col. Podhajsky’s calm, supple and obedient. Supple as a cat and as mercurial as a lightning flash–that’s life in the fast lane with this 10 year career racehorse who is just beginning his newest adventure. Heaven help us!

ISOFaithfulandTrue: a book report of Wanting to Be Free–A Spiritual Approach to Addiction and Recovery by Neroli Duffy

In Wanting to Be Free, author Neroli Duffy writes of her encounter on an airplane with a man named Daniel, who was recovering from an addiction to pornography. Both a retired medical doctor and a minister, she was planning to write about addiction but did not yet have a clear direction. Enter Daniel, sharing his recovery story.

Daniel had written a poem about his addiction which she printed in her book, but the crucial aspect of how he did it were what caught my attention. Recovery from porn addiction is not easy. I know of many firsthand who have tried to break free in recovery groups from sex and lust addiction. I myself was in those groups not for pornography but for lusting after men and making them my gods. I did learn how tough this disease of addiction is and I already knew it for myself because it is not easy to walk in those doors of such a group when you are the only female present.

It was another kind of assignment for me from a Power greater than myself. I needed to find recovery because I was mentally obsessing myself into insane states of mind even when I was not actually involved with any men. It had been years since I had indulged in promiscuity outwardly, but my mental obsession remained.

I was assigned to cover addictions somewhat before, but from an objective distance. When I was a freelance health reporter briefly for the Billings Outpost, I used to buy and read a book I was interested in on health and then ask a health professional to comment on it for my reporting. As reporting is traditionally from the area local to the paper, I would find local experts in the field of the subject at hand. I would also cover conferences, including on meth addiction.

If I were still in Billings, I had in mind someone I would interview regarding this book, but honestly, I do not know if he himself has recovery in this area. He is an addictions specialist but this addiction is not an easy one. I know.

So I will just review the book itself and report on it, as I really do have lived experience and recovery, by the grace of God. Rev. Duffy does present many avenues for recovery from addictions of any kind, not just pornography. Her expertise is in the use of prayer and affirmation for healing.

She describes other modalities that are used in the addictions recovery field, including one I’d not encountered. The Phoenix Multisport is a “support community for those who are recovering from substance abuse. They focus on sports and fitness pursuits such as climbing, hiking, skiing, running, strength training, yoga and road or mountain biking, along with social events and other activities.”

Jenny Hunter, who worked in addictions treatment centers, and is in recovery from alcoholism, wrote the forward to Wanting to Be Free and is quoted throughout the book. She offers much valuable firsthand insight into the use of the spiritual techniques advocated.

The unseen spiritual forces behind addiction are covered extensively and in fact Daniel himself recounts his encounter “when he felt something grip the back of his neck–a firm and icy grip, tangible and chilling, yet not of this world. And then he heard the most awful sound—a growling, guttural moan that seemed to be from the pits of hell itself…and although he did not know the name of this being–was it Satan himself?–he knew he was no match for whatever it was.”

How did he break free? “He got down on his knees beside his bed and prayed earnestly, asking Jesus to deliver him from the ‘beast’ that was gripping him. Instantly the hand was withdrawn. A calm presence flowed through him and he felt peace.”

The author writes about Daniel telling this tale to her, “I looked into Daniel’s eyes, and I knew that what he was describing was not a hallucination or an illusion.”

“We talked about angels, forces of light and darkness and what this malevolent presence might have been. I reminded him that Jesus had spoken of dark forces that are beyond our physical sight. He had told the apostles that some come out only ‘by prayer and fasting.'”

It turned out that Daniel had been fasting when he prayed to have the “thing” removed. The ancient formula worked for him. He is a member of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints, and they advocate regular fasting.

I, too, am grateful to have the Lord Jesus to have delivered me and that is why I call Him my sponsor and pledged my life to Him and will not date. I am striving to be a lay Dominican nun as I believe He has called me, or perhaps an ecumenical Franciscan nun, if the Catholic Church is not interested in me. They may not be. Just because He calls me, it does not mean that the Church always does His will. I know that for a fact. They can prove me wrong and I hope they do. The Vatican can fast and pray on bread and water on Wednesdays and Fridays as Our Lady, Queen of Peace at Medjugorje recommends and the issue of sexual abuse by priests will go away. I do not doubt it. I would love to report on that miracle. Truly, I would.

The formula from the Great Physician worked for a Mormon man, it worked for this Messianic Jew, and a medical doctor and minister prescribes it. I am very grateful that I read Wanting to Be Free and had followed the time-tested prescription.

Wanting to Be Free is a gift to those seeking recovery. It includes other spiritual paths as well, other than Christianity. I am donating a copy to the bookshelf of the apartment building where I now live. It is my way of “paying it forward” because the need is great.

I honor the author because I knew her personally and I have not been able to admit she is no longer on Planet Earth. When she passed on last year, I was scheduled to take a peer support specialist training, which included training in helping other addicts, but I was too overcome by her passing to function. She is still very much present in her books, though, and her compassionate spirit will never die. May the donated book find a home in another addict’s life in this building where I reside. I will always be grateful to Neroli Duffy and hope others who were not so fortunate to have known her personally may be illumined by her literary legacy–and find deliverance.






House of Cards: Blown Away–Now Built on a Rock 8-22-18

The Spirit of Truth is my Rock and my Teacher, truly, today and if I just suit up and show up, I can prosper. The trustee did end up paying the USAA health insurance after I wrote that last blog. He must have had the Spirit move him or something and 4 days before it was due to be cancelled entirely because it was past due, he paid on August 14th. So I am grateful he paid.

Now it is paid until January and because I made that payment and the other to AmEx, I am way short for rent which is due on the first and my disability comes on the third. I have $199.00 in the bank and my rent is $551.00 which is subsidized because of my disability, which I am desperately trying to overcome. I am trying to be retrained in order to be gainfully employed.

Vocational Rehabilitation will not now pay for more retraining until I get my situation with the trustee in order because every time I make some progress on the vocational front, he pulls some sort of thing and I have to spend countless hours and energy to try to figure out how to jump through that particular hoop. So, now this blog is going to be my journey to financial recovery and I am using the 12 steps and this is a way to do a fearless and searching moral inventory of this money madness.

This will be a log of just how much of a Saviour the Lord Christ is even at the financial level. I am on a journey to a divine economy built upon the Rock and not the shifting sands of a shifty character who wants to destroy my recovery and my credit rating because it is in his best interests, he thinks.

Now I have to show some proof that I paid the USAA myself which I did on August 7th from my bank account. The last thing I want is for him to have access to my bank account, so I will have to somehow figure a way to prove it to his royal untrustworthiness, a Prince who is a Mark-avellian overlord.

By their fruits ye shall know them and his fruits are so riddled with lies to my authorized representative that he is now a lord of the lies, too. So we shall see.

It may just be that he has absinthe poisoning and is hallucinating and in need of treatment. Before he unfriended me on Facebook years ago, I saw he is fond of absinthe, the toxic liquor once outlawed because it can cause mania and madness. So, perhaps he has been afflicted by the Green Fairy and I need to pray, “This is a sick man. How can I best be helpful to him? God save me from being angry.” (from Bill W.’s tome of recovery)

Indeed I can best be helpful by pointing out that even if I am so incapacitated that I need hospitalization as he might like, it would be helpful for him to know that that would concentrate my efforts in an even greater manner. The one time I was in a State psychiatric hospital, I badgered the staff and made enough of a fuss that they had a staff member take me to a private room to pay my credit card payments. Yes, I was in a manic psychosis but I still made my payments from there. Even more to the point, however, is that I become much, much more litigious when locked up. I sit for hours making endless calls to every governmental agency and complain. In Warm Springs I got it so that patients had the right to whatever diet was necessary for them because I wrote out so many complaint forms and the Board of Governors, I believe, came to visit and check things out. I filled out so many of the formal complaint forms and cited the Constitution in writing those complaints, some of the details escape me now.

I am not exactly a passive patient. And I have more access to attorneys, too, in there. God bless his heart, the attorney there was the best therapist for me although I had to make amends for being irate with him at times. At the time, I did not realize that I challenged him because of serious ethical violations by another attorney, which is why I ended up in Warm Springs in the first place.

So that may be the very most helpful thing I can do for the trustee, is to let him know that if he is trying to gaslight me so badly I get committed, I do not just sit in a corner and drool. So, game on, in this, my epic trek to the pit of fiscal Hell where the overlord is a Mark-avelian Prince of Darkness controlled by the Father of Lies. I have my Guide and He has the Son-light of the Spirit of Truth to show me what my part is in this ungodly mess.

I have been codependent and not demanded what I am due by law and that is what I have to face and overcome in myself. I was passive and capitulated in the possible squandering of my inheritance by never demanding an accurate accounting. For this I am making an amends and I will learn to muckrake by “following the money” in this infernal mess I allowed to fester by kowtowing to the overlord/ego and not to my True Lord who is my conscience.

I confess my Lord and Saviour Jesus Christ is come in the flesh. I confess Jesus Christ is the Son of God and that is the true Reality and from there, I will find how He can help me sell all I have and give to the poor and follow Him completely. Today is the celebration of the Queenship of Holy Mary and I have consecrated all I have and am to Her Immaculate Heart and so am Her slave now and must act accordingly. She helped me through college for a reason and continues now with the lifeline to which I cling for dear life of the most holy rosary, binding me to Her Son and my G-d the I AM THAT I AM.

I am tied as well, by the law of the tithe which is about the only thing I have done right in my fiscal disaster. I confess my soul is powerless over this my mess of financial impotence and my life is unmanageable. I can return to sanity through a power greater than myself and I commit myself to the only One who can help through the intercession of the Queen, who entreated Him to perform His first public miracle of changing the water to wine at Cana. “O Jesus, I surrender myself to You, take care of everything….” O Jesus, I trust in You!